ELH Trouble shooting guide

[BlackHawk*K]

while in the saloon and you experiance problems please refer to this trouble shooting guide!!!

Problem: Feet cold and wet.
Cause: Glass being held at incorrect angle.


Problem: Feet warm and wet.
Cause: Improper bladder control.


Problem: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
Cause: Glass empty.



Problem: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
Cause: You have fallen over backward.


Problem: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
Cause: You have fallen forward.



Problem: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
Cause: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.

Problem: Floor blurred.
Cause: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.



Problem: Floor moving.
Cause: You are being carried out.

Problem: Room seems unusually dark.
Cause: Bar has closed.



Problem: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
Cause: You are dancing on the table.

Problem: Beer is crystal-clear.
Cause: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.



Problem: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
Cause: You have been in a fight.

Problem: Your singing sounds distorted.
Cause: The beer is too weak.



Problem: Don't remember the words to the song.
Cause: Beer is just right!


and remember. an improper beer level can greatly increase your chance of death while piloting! make sure you check your beer level at all times. and of course when the mech porta poti calls. make sure you get a replacement beer on the way out!

<S> and good hunting all!

[Featherhorse]

'Mech on monitor? Check
Headset on? Check
Feet on pedals? Check
Joystick in right hand? Check
Throttle in left hand? Check
Cold Beer in... hand? Ack!

Beer IV in arm? CHECK!
Beer Level? nominal...

[Malin]

Guess Bacardi Breezer don't count then

[Featherhorse]

Uh, Mal, it ain't that kind of a bar.

[Hammer]

BREEZER!!! Hmmm...must be a locust pilot!

[Malin]

Damm, no wonder i lost that deul.

Not enough BEER!!!